QUOTES by PG Wodehouse
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
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I am Psmith," said the old Etonian reverently. "There is a preliminary P before the name. This, however, is silent. Like the tomb. Compare such words as ptarmigan, psalm, and phthisis.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
We Woosters do not lightly forget. At least, we do - some things - appointments, and people's birthdays, and letters to post, and all that - but not an absolutely bally insult like the above.
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-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.
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He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
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She fitted into my biggest arm-chair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing arm-chairs tight about the hips that season
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Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.
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Love is a delicate plant that needs constant tending and nurturing, and this cannot be done by snorting at the adored object like a gas explosion and calling her friends lice.
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As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
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It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.
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I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
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It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up.
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As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
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There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
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It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.
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Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?
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Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
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I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.
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If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
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A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
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She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
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What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
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I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
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Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.
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He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
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At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.
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There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir.
Quote by -PG Wodehouse