Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Hark to the sky of a seagull! He cries because he's not an eagle. Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull? What would you say to your she-gull?

Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

In the world of mules There are no rules.

You can be young only once, but you can be immature forever.

It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.

Were it not for frustration and humiliation I suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.

My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean