QUOTES by Terry Pratchett
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Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Needless to say, they refused to submit to the Empire, conducting such a persistent guerrilla war that the Romans gave up hope of conquering Scotland, and the Wee Free Men remained both wee and free.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man!
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
That was the very centre of his genius - he invented things that anyone could have thought of, and men who can invent things that anyone could have thought of are very rare men.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.'
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
The real world was far too real to leave neat little hints. It was full of too many things. It wasn't by eliminating the impossible that you got to the truth, however improbable; it was by the much harder process of eliminating the possibilities.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
A world like that, which exists only because the gods enjoy a joke, must be a place where magic can survive. And sex too, of course.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT." Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
It's beautiful," said Mort softly. "What is it?" THE SUN IS UNDER THE DISC, said Death. "Is it like this every night?" EVERY NIGHT, said Death. NATURE'S LIKE THAT. "Doesn't anyone know?" ME. YOU. THE GODS. GOOD, ISN'T IT? "Gosh!" Death leaned over the saddle and looked down at the kingdoms of the world. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, he said, BUT I COULD MURDER A CURRY.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
They were small, brightly coloured, happy little creatures who secreted some of the nastiest toxins in the world, which is why the job of looking after the large vivarium where they happily passed their days was given to first-year students, on the basis that if they got things wrong there wouldn't be too much education wasted.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
People wanted the world to be a story, because stories had to sound right and they had to make sense. People wanted the world to make sense.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Don't you *ever* let go?" "I haven't yet." "Why?" "I suppose... because in this world, after everyone panics, there's always got to be someone to tip the wee out of the shoe.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVED HIM? "Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes?" NO "Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that. It's an astronomical fact." THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN. ... "Really? Then what would have happened, pray?" A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Unseen University was much bigger on the inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of practical magic in a world where dimensions were largely a matter of chance in any case had left it bulging in places where it shouldn't have places. There were rooms containing rooms which, if you entered them, turned out to contain the room you'd started with, which can be a problem if you are in a conga line.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Ye ken, we've been robbin' and running aroound on all kinds o' worlds for a lang time, and I'll tell ye this: The universe is a lot more comp-li-cated than it looks from the ooutside.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. She believed that the world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they controlled you. But if you studied them, if you found out about them... you could use them, you could change them.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
The theater troubled her. It had a magic of its own, one that didn’t belong to her, one that wasn’t in her control. It changed the world, and said things were otherwise than they were. And it was worse than that. It was magic that didn’t belong to magical people. It was commanded by ordinary people, who didn’t know the rules. They altered the world because it sounded better.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
They suffered from the terrible delusion that something could be done. They seemed prepared to make the world the way they wanted it or die in the attempt, and the trouble with dying in the attempt was that you died in the attempt.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
You can think and you can fight, but the world's always movin', and if you wanna stay ahead you gotta dance.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
[Y]ou weren't born with a talent for witchcraft: it didn't come easily; you worked hard at it because you wanted it. You forced the world to give it to you, no matter the price, and the price is and always will be high... People say you don't find witchcraft; witchcraft finds you. But you've found it, even if at the time you didn't know what it was you were finding, and you grabbed it by its scrawny neck and made it work for you.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
...no-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away... The span of someone's life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
All he knew was that you couldn't hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that'd make the world, in a small way, a better place. Like shooting someone.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
THAT’S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY’VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
There were two ways of looking at the world, but only one when you are starving.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Ritual and ceremony in their due times kept the world under the sky and the stars in their courses. It was astonishing what ritual and ceremony could do.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Omens are everywhere in this world you just have to find the one that fits.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Sometimes I feel that the world is made up of sensible people who know the plot and bloody idiots who don't.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett
Its useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.
Quote by -Terry Pratchett