Shows are my saving grace. In between actual jobs, the only thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that I can go up on stages.

There are certain fundamental things that scream, 'I just moved to New York.' Things like eating cheesecake at Junior's or heading out to Coney Island to ride the Cyclone.

In late 2004, I left my much-maligned home state of New Jersey for the supposedly greener pastures of Astoria, Queens. I'd finally be in the mix, living off the subway line, able to go from audition to audition during the day and from late night show to late night show in the wee hours of the morning.

Bedbugs have never been cool, and bedbugs will never be cool.

Any notable moments spent on a subway usually do nothing more than expose human awfulness at its most pronounced.

The bad you see in N.Y.C. is troubling to know when it rears its ugly head.

In 2010, I was the star of a sitcom. It came and went pretty fast. But in the months from when I was cast in the sitcom through when it was done airing, my life did change remarkably.

When my TV show was in production, dozens of women asked me out on Facebook. Some were shy about it; some were blatant. Some I knew, some were total strangers. But they went for it.

No aspect of my brief and mild fame actually made me happier.

Having money didn't make me less of a socially incapable loser; it just made me a socially incapable loser who wasn't in debt.

I quit drinking in 2002, mere months before my college graduation.

I'm very happy with my decision to go sober. It's helped my life. It's helped my mental stability.

I've exceeded the expectations people had for me as an unconfident runt who grew up in North Jersey as well as the expectations I had for myself.

I get to do comedy for a living.

West Orange, where I grew up, is the hometown of Ian Ziering from 'Beverly Hills, 90210,' Scott Wolf from 'Party of Five,' David Cassidy from the 'Partridge Family,' and Mike Pitt of 'Boardwalk Empire' and 'Dawson's Creek.'

Part of North Jersey life is that everyone is obsessed with being tough all the time.

Getting help for my issues was one of the hardest things I've ever done, because when I get dangerously sad or manic, those feelings seek to perpetuate themselves.

I've taught people in improv classes, then watched them move to Los Angeles to become Emmy winners and movie stars. That experience, for anyone wondering, is both super exciting and also makes you put a microscope on your own life choices. It causes you to question why you still perform stand-up in so many Brooklyn basements.

I know there are many things California can offer - personally, professionally, meteorologically - that New York can't. It sounds awesome.

Sometimes I get gigs in weird, artsy places because weird, artsy people embraced my public-access show, which I could only have done in the way I did in New York.

I am a stereotypical northeasterner. I'm always in a rush. I've attracted stares from out-of-towners when I've shoved past someone blocking the subway door.

Thank you to anyone who's ever watched or supported 'TCGS.' Even if you checked it out once, hated it, and never checked it out again - thank you for giving us a chance.

I think there's too many gay jokes in comedy and not enough honest explorations of sexuality.

To a crowd that loves improv, Robin Williams is like Chuck Berry.

I think I'm a very notoriously positive comic.

I think comics do need permission to fail. I think comics do need permission to go up and try stuff.

I've said some things on stage where the crowd was like, 'Whoa, that's bad' - and I never say it again because that's the feedback I get.

I've seen situations where I think comics are really unrealistic about what creative expression and what the artistic freedom, what that entails.

I think the key to improv is always listening. It's embracing. It's positivity. It's hearing things and not shutting them down.

I am scared of horror movies.

I have no desire to get on a soapbox or be preachy. I don't think comedy needs to be 'brave' or 'important.'

One thing I've realized is that being a nerd has transformed. I like that it's easier to read comic books and, like, 'Lord of the Rings' now. You don't have to get punched in the chest in the gym locker room for that anymore.

You don't often see vulnerability on TV, especially talk shows.

I didn't like who I was. I spent a lot of my life regretting who I was, which is a sad thing to say.

The whole romanticized 'sad clown' thing, we gotta get rid of that. That has to go! That's just getting sick people to voluntarily stay sicker and sadder than they have to be.

Both creatively and organizationally, being medicated has helped me immensely.

The one-word story about why I have a chip on my shoulder is 'bullying.'

Maria Bamford is someone who's really inspired me in a big way.

Everyone likes to laugh. Everyone likes to dance along to some music.

I will say I miss teaching improv way more than I miss performing improv.

One of the reasons I stay in New York is because you're always around so many other types of arts, and it's easy to just get lost in it.

As far as comedy goes, I'm endlessly inspired by Jo Firestone.

I can legitimately say without being arrogant that there's probably a stretch where I was one of the better teachers of improv in the country.

I think there's enough TV that makes people feel dumb out there.

A lot of the things I loved the most growing up were, on the surface, kind of challenging or impenetrable. I loved Andy Kaufman, and half his shows, people would walk out in a rage. I love punk rock, which is notoriously music that doesn't always sound very inviting or appealing but, I think, unquestionably has the most heart, the most integrity.

I always just try to remind myself, like, at the end of the day, no matter how much pressure it is to be a TV show host, you still get to be a TV show host.

I'm hungry in the ways that every artist is, but I also have this extra layer. I've done a lot of things that were consciously not for money, but because I'm so convinced I'm going to die in my mid-30s, I'm like, 'That's not what's important. Doing cool stuff and having that legacy is what's important.'

I've always been really open onstage.

Creativity saved me.

What all my favorite comedians have in common is extraordinary honesty.