If you meet a girl who says: 'Darling, what do you mean? Of course I wear suspenders. I've worn them all my life. I think tights are for old people,' then know this: she's desperate to have kids, she wants you and her to live in the same house as her mum, she never wants to go out and she just wants to lie on your chest for the next 15 years.

Christmas is not a time for laughter. Christmas is a time for pain.

I just don't 'get' pets.

Rodents are pests and not pets, and anything that manically runs around a wheel 24/7 and occasionally has 19 babies in the middle of the night should not be brought into the house.

A dark room with some low-level whale music and a flat bed and a woman pulling your shoulder back and forth is a happy place.

When you're down and have just split up from your partner everyone says you have to move forward. 'Get on with your life,' 'It's time to meet someone new,' and 'Don't think about the past' are phrases you'll hear for at least six months after the horrible event.

Be completely honest - have you ever met someone who you thought was truly clever or interesting or witty who wore fawn?

There is no film on the face of this earth that is as blatant a girl's film as '27 Dresses.'

The only question a girl can ask herself when their husband chooses to see '27 Dresses' is this: What on earth has he done?

I love skiing. What on earth have I been doing on a beach all this time? I mean, that's for morons - you can get sunburn and really damage yourself.

I like small actors. They are my absolute favourite.

I'd take Tom Hollander over Brad Pitt any day.

I share a birthday with Max Beesley and James Nesbitt.

I've always thought MySpace sounds like a new estate agency in central London run by two men who favour large-lapel suits and goatees.

Facebook it turns out, is like MySpace but it's not scary. There aren't a lot of angry looking people with nose rings and um, issues.

Facebook is the first class of social networking. If MySpace is Camden Lock then Facebook is Harvey Nichols.

Facebook, I'm learning, is like a man. You have to be smiley and fun and witty but sometimes you have to play it cool and just ignore it for a couple of hours.

Yes, of course I love little Sarah Jessica Parker. I love the fact that when she accepts awards, she thanks everyone she's ever met and inanimate objects that have 'been kind to her.' And I love the fact that she hasn't had a flesh-coloured mole removed from her forehead (I'm not making it up; have a closer look next time she's on the screen).

Indeed, 'Sex and the City' highlighted the importance of female friendships, and showed the world that it was hip to be single.

The character of Samantha Jones proved that women over the age of 40 could be magnificently sexy and attractive to men of all ages.

Sex and the City: The Movie' - a bit like the All Saints comeback, and the return of the Jammy Dodger, it feels a little staged and all wrong.

Seriously, Jamie Cullum could be the smallest person on the planet. He might be lovely and charming and you might think we all should spend more time talking about his piano-playing techniques but, seriously, have you seen how short he is?

I'm not sure a pretty and stupid man might be the key to a happy relationship.

Hiring someone to look after your children is about the most important thing you will ever do in your life.

Now, like a lot of parents, I have to fight with myself every time I leave the house not to buy my children more stuff.

I never take my makeup off.

My husband thinks I'm insane.

I grew up not worrying about my looks.

Ads are cool.

Jane Austen is one of my all-time favourites.

I love PG Wodehouse.

I watch 'Question Time' religiously.

Uggs are great.

I'd love to spend a month in China.

It's deep in the south of India and next to Goa, but thankfully the folk who like Goa haven't worked out that Kerala is a lot nicer and just next door. You do feel that you are discovering somewhere entirely new in Kerala. It makes you feel like you are on a totally different planet.

I am allergic to sweating. Seriously I get in shape by lying down.

If I could grow my fringe down to my shoulders to cover my entire face and occasionally peer out to answer questions I would. It's my beauty security blanket.

I don't like anything too perfect, or anyone who looks like they have just stepped out of a salon; that's not for me.

I love that ageing rocker look, dressed in black and looking like you slept in your make-up.

Once, when I was 14 I thought easily the most glamorous thing was white eyeliner inside the eye and then heavy lip liner round the mouth. I think I looked repellent.

I've never knowingly taken my make-up off. The stuff you see me in I first put on in the 70s.

I don't believe in Chap Stick, I'm going to say that right now. Carmex can sometimes feel like too much of an attack. It's just too much sometimes.

I had a go with Botox but looked both scared and surprised at the same time. I don't like to be either.

I think I was born aged about 86.

My twenties were painful. You had to go out to nightclubs. I love not having to pretend to enjoy those things anymore.

I don't want to be doing anything else, I just want to be with my family.

Even when my mum used to edit the paper she would come home, put us to bed and then go back to the office. She must have been exhausted. She worked on Sunday papers so I always had her on Mondays. I loved Mondays! She would always be waiting for me outside school. I remember feeling very loved.

The only thing I'm obsessed with is sleeping. I'm really good at it and if I don't do it I'm horrible.

I find it alarming that people are so convinced they're the best at anything - presenting, hairdressing, getting dressed.

Look, I just read out loud for a living. Most of my friends are doctors or lawyers, people I went to university with, they're on the train at 7 A.M. and don't get home until 7 P.M. They work bloody hard, and they're allowed to be overwhelmed. I don't think I'm allowed, really.