QUOTES by John Oliver
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When you're dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you're doing.
Quote by -John Oliver
People, I guess, generally come to see me do stand-up with a working knowledge of my broad sense of humor on 'The Daily Show'... I don't think anyone would mistake me as an actual anchor.
Quote by -John Oliver
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face.
Quote by -John Oliver
It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.
Quote by -John Oliver
I have occasionally - if ever I do interviews that are difficult or nerve-wracking - I take my wife's dog tags and have them in my pocket because it's a very quick way to realize that what I'm doing is not that important. It's not really worth getting stressed about because it's not, you know, war.
Quote by -John Oliver
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.
Quote by -John Oliver
When you've married someone who's been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery.
Quote by -John Oliver
We in Britain stopped evolving gastronomically with the advent of the pie. Everything beyond that seemed like a brave, frightening new world. We knew the French were up to something across the Channel, but we didn't want anything to do with it.
Quote by -John Oliver
I would much rather America was a more stable, wonderful place. You know, I love it.
Quote by -John Oliver
As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant.
Quote by -John Oliver
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face. And that's really not a good instinct with a 'Daily Show' field piece, where it's supposed to be an interview.
Quote by -John Oliver
Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I've ever been in. They've really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper.
Quote by -John Oliver
I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.
Quote by -John Oliver
There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain.
Quote by -John Oliver
People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.
Quote by -John Oliver
Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.
Quote by -John Oliver
Being a Mets fan is like lending someone a lot of money and you just know that you'll never get paid back.
Quote by -John Oliver
People really have come for a dialogue when they go to a stand-up show in the U.K. They say, 'I understand that you have now finished your little comedy monologue; now I have something to say regarding what I've just heard.
Quote by -John Oliver
There are so many low points with stand-up. You are perpetually humiliated, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't have any dignity left to lose. An audience can't hurt you anymore when you've been completely dismantled.
Quote by -John Oliver
My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of someone from Birmingham, and then I was raised in Bedford, which is just north of London. So my accent, if it's possible, makes even less sense to a Brit than to an American.
Quote by -John Oliver
It's exciting to have a role in anything that's Claymation, just because you're always intrigued by what a clay wizard version of yourself would be.
Quote by -John Oliver
The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator.
Quote by -John Oliver
There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving - but most people watch it for the crashes.
Quote by -John Oliver
I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show,' I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson. Having a British accent definitely gave me a sonic leg up on that because there is a faux authority to the British accent in and of itself.
Quote by -John Oliver
If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion.
Quote by -John Oliver
Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.
Quote by -John Oliver
You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well.
Quote by -John Oliver
My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raised about an hour north of London, so my voice is a mess. Although, to American ears, it sounds like the crisp language of a queen's butler.
Quote by -John Oliver
I watch one news channel until my soul can't take it anymore. It's the background of my life.
Quote by -John Oliver
I get nostalgic for British negativity. There is an inherent hope and positive drive to New Yorkers. When you go back to Britain, everybody is just running everything down. It's like whatever the opposite of a hug is.
Quote by -John Oliver
I do one accent - my own. I can make it louder or quieter. That is the sum total of my vocal range. I thought I could do an American accent until I tried it in front of an American - the expression of horror is still burnt onto my retinas.
Quote by -John Oliver
I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.
Quote by -John Oliver
My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief.
Quote by -John Oliver