My life is spent in hotels, which tend to be quite disappointing if you're in them every night.

The world is in a bit of a state. I don't know how it's happened so quickly but everyone's a bit on edge. I'm not sure that our leaders are doing a great job globally. We're hoping on Trump and Kim Jong-un - these two people who maybe aren't necessarily the sanest.

The only critics who annoy me are the ones who come to my shows even when they're clearly not fans of my work.

I got my big break at the Royal Variety Performance in 2006 and returned in 2008, but now to host it is such an honour and I'm unbelievably excited.

I sometimes reflect on my own life on stage and no one laughs, but you have to have faith in it and hope that people will laugh.

I have no ambitions to act, because I don't know how to.

I definitely wanted a Ferrari 328 - I was obsessive about cars as a kid.

I've always just tried to make the audience laugh.

I always used to want everyone to like me, because it used to hurt so much when people made snidey comments or gave me bad reviews, but I've learnt to deal with it.

Britain's Got Talent' is about those moments when an unknown person takes to the stage and changes their life in the space of a few minutes.

Maybe people just can't cope with how jovial I am.

The people who don't like me are completely irrelevant to me, just as I'm irrelevant to them.

I think everyone wants to know why I look like this. These jokes I make about looking Chinese… My mother's from Hungary and my dad was from Canada. There's a lot of immigration in my past.

It's a weird one: nobody notices when a brilliant comedian is fat or has sweat marks under their arms. Peter Kay isn't in the best shape and neither is Ricky Gervais, and it doesn't matter. Still, I like to feel like I'm transforming into something quite cool when I go on stage.

I don't watch any other comedy, I don't study stand-up as an art.

I worked every single night, not even caring if I got paid, to get myself known. Within a year I was on the Royal Variety Show and that was it.

I don't know how it is with other people's relationships, but my wife is always much more tired than me because she works much harder looking after the children, which is an endless battle - a lot of it is battling with them to stop battling with each other.

I get looks like I can't raise my child, but I can.

I do speak well as I went to a posh school. But I come from no real breeding.

I think if anyone becomes so obnoxious to believe they could be a national treasure, they just need to go on Twitter and realise they're not. That's there to curtail anybody's confidence.

Given this voice, I know it does sound like I've come from money. But my dad was Canadian and my mum Hungarian, so it's not like I have some high-society, upper-class English background.

I feel a bit weird about turning 40. It makes you feel like you've passed over on to the other side a bit.

I go to the British Comedy Awards and, you know, quite a few people were making jokes at my expense. It just made me feel awful, because I am there with my wife and she has gone out and bought a dress. And it is my big night and I won, and yet the overriding experience was that of nastiness.

I went to quite a nice school as a kid, where everyone was quite posh, because my dad was making some money.

Sometimes I worry about things changing and people not liking me any more. As a comedian you do feel like you're walking on a knife edge.

It's such a lie that women go for funny men.

I call people 'captain' a lot and it makes them feel special. Until they hear me using it for everyone, that is.

I don't just like to use punchlines anymore, especially in arenas. They freak me out. There is nothing worse than 15,000 people waiting for a punchline.

I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice.

Comedy provides an escape from the horrors of real life.

I always knew I was quite good at getting laughs. At school, I loved having a ready audience if I made a cheeky remark.

I don't go around straightening pictures or anything like that, but I do obsess about the safety of those I love, particularly the kids.

Before I went into comedy I was a loner, very much wrapped up in my own thoughts. But I always liked myself and the way I thought.

I think actually performing on stage when everyone's facing you and you're one person facing them, that is quite a lonely thing in a strange way. You have to be quite insular from everybody else, you've got thousands of people staring at you and you're just on your own.

I really, really love stand-up.

One of the weirdest things about Christmas in this country is that people love to watch 'EastEnders' when everyone's in floods of tears and there's a huge row. I don't know if watching it makes them feel better about their own day. Personally, I would rather try to be a bit more positive!

I usually do quite well with presents, but the problem with Christmas is it's such a big build-up and such a big day that if someone tests you the year after, you've got no idea what you got.

I can sit and write clever things, but that never quite works as well as when I'm just chatting about stupid things in the moment.

I don't want a chat show or to be on telly every day, as that's not my business; my business is standing in front of people and making them laugh, and I want to see how far I can get with that.

You have to be realistic. Not everyone is going to like you, so you have to focus on the ones who do.