QUOTES by Mark Twain

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“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
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“Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”
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“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
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“Just when I thought I was learning how to live, 'twas then I realized I was learning how to die.”
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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. 
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
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Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality
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What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval.
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Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
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Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired.
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You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. during the Following the Equator tour. True love is the only heart disease that is best left to "run on"--the only affection of the heart for which there is no help, and none desired. The course of free love never runs smooth.
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“Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.”
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“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”
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“Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack. Hero worship consists in just that. Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.”
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“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
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“The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.”
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“A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.”

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“Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality”
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“Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
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“Be good and you will be lonesome.”
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“Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.”
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“A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.”
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“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

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“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.”
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“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.”
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“Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”
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“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”
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“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”
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“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightening that does the work.”
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“My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.”
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“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
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“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”

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“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
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“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.”
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“Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.”
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“There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.”
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“A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.”
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“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
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“In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.”
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“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.”
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“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”
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“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”
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