QUOTES by Mark Twain

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“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
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“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
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“You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
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“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
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“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
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“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
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“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”
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“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
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“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”
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“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”
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“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
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“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
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“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”
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“I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”
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“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”
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“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”
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“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
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“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ”

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“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
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“History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
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“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
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“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
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“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
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“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”
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“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”
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“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”
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“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”
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“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
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“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
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“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.”
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“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”
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“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”
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“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
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“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”
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“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”
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“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
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“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
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“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
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“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”
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“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”
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“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
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“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
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“Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”
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“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”
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“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
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“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.”
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“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
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“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”
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