We tried our damnedest to make it a special entertainment, but I'll admit I'm a contributor to the decline in TV standards.

If I was prime minister for a day the first thing I would do would be to close the border. Then we could work out how many people we've got here. Then you get people out who have committed crimes and you look at others who shouldn't be here. Nobody knows how many people we've got here.

There are too many organisations - and the BBC is a fabulous organisation - that seem to think it's OK to badger, hector and threaten people.

I worked for the BBC for 30 years.

Reality shows have caused fatigue amongst the public.

We've sussed that we've paid all this money to watch ourselves entertain ourselves. We have more members of the public on TV than on C&A's CCTV.

Belief and trust in the power of the Cosmos gives even the most chaotic life a new sense of order and purpose.

I spent a lot of Saturday night on BBC television, being chased around by yellow rubber balls.

I'm the last person to claim that I'm sane.

You don't do everything in life in order to make money.

Believe it or not, I'm actually quite a private person.

What's the point of life if we can't be positive, have fun and make the world a better place?

I always have a giggle.

Water can communicate. It's communicating with us, it's communicating with other water.

We must never forget that the cosmos exists solely to help those who want to help themselves. It is an incredibly powerful force and a wonderful friend for all who adopt a positive approach to life.

I am not living in the past.

I don't really like those houses where someone's put up all their old football trophies and whatever; you know, what are they trying to prove?

Contrary to the image of a neurotic man created in some quarters, I feel very much at peace with myself.

I'm very good at compartmentalising my life. I did motor-racing for a while, stopped, didn't miss it. I did power-boat racing for a while, stopped, didn't miss it. I had such a good run at the BBC. I had a hell of a CV with arguably the greatest broadcasting organisation in the world. But I've never missed it since.

If I'm demanding and have high standards, I'm happy about that.

I quite often carry a little card with me and I write things on the card - things that I'm grateful for and things that I would like to positively happen around today.

I used to be very frightened of failure.

I'm very sensitive to criticism, particularly when it's very, very personal.

Our politicians want to keep us in a negative state because they can easily manipulate us.

If people think I am a failure because I am not on telly every day, that is their problem.

I was never arrogant.

Of course I have an ego.

You have to have a big ego in this world to propel yourself in front of the cameras, to sit behind the microphone, to believe that you can entertain millions of people.

I know I'm not smarter than a 10-year-old.

Too many people take the living experience too seriously.

I'm very proud that on my passport it says: 'broadcaster,' and that's what I see myself as.

I came from an era when I was so proud to be working for the British Broadcasting Corporation.

For me, broadcasting is a job and I've only ever seen it as a job. I turn up, do the job and go home.

I like my garden. It sounds boring, but it's not.

I'm patron of Children's Hospice South West - I would love to go and play 'Deal' at the children's hospice.

At ten I was bright.

I was a diligent little boy at my primary school and then I went to public school and became mediocre at most things and pretty rubbish at others. I had a really tough time. I didn't enjoy it at all. But it made me the man I am today.

When I tell people in England my show is going on at midnight, they look at you like you're crazy.

I don't have a TV licence. I don't watch except on catch-up.

Judging by the number of things I get asked to do I don't think the public are sick of me.

It's amazing how a simple brief phone call can pick up the spirits of the most dejected hamster, the most stressed goldfish and the most neurotic cat.

Everything is about energy. We're surrounded by electro mist, fog and smog. We're covering ourselves in the wrong sorts of electro-magnetism. These idiot politicians who talk about climate change, for goodness sake, do they really think little us can do anything about it? No, of course not.

Someone accused me of having 'gone off the rails' but I've never been on them hence the success and happiness I enjoy on a daily basis.

I was brought up to be loyal, trustworthy, hardworking and to deliver. If you hired Noel Edmonds to do something then, by God, he worked hard at it.

I haven't got a problem with sheeple calling me crazy. What's sane? What is crazy?

I may be Marmite but there's a hell of a lot of people that seem to like Noel's version of Marmite.

Is there a bigger hypocrite than Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury and the CEO of 'Lords Bank?'

I didn't say a pulsed electro-magnetic field cures cancer. I don't believe it does. All I said is that it will help tackle cancer.

I'm a big fan of Ant and Dec, I think they're excellent presenters.

Death is a word in the dictionary. I don't believe in that word. I think the most appropriate word is 'departure' because we are energy and you can't create or destroy energy, you can only change its form.