QUOTES by Garrison Keillor
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
"What would people think?' Jesus said that people think all sorts of things. The human mind is like a cloud of gnats. Constant motion. That's why you have to look at the heart. 'Oh,' said Grandpa."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"They did not weave their lives around yours. They had their own lives, which were mysterious to you."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"I just sort of slid into it, like you’d go for a walk in the woods and fall into a crevasse and wind up in a cave full of rubies and emeralds."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"... you are never so smart again in a language learned in middle age nor so romantic, brave or kind."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"The living wander away, we don’t hear from them for months, years—but the dead move in with us to stay."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb? I’ll have an estimate for you a week from Monday."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"...life (pause) is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Sometimes I think I understand everything—then I regain consciousness."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"I longed for the pitter-patter of little feet, so I got a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"My God, rich people have the time to praise You if they want to, but the poor people are so busy, accept their work as praise because, my God, they don’t have time for everything."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Hurry up! Do it – get it done. You got work to do. Don’t put this off and don’t take the long view. Life is today and tomorrow, and if you are lucky, may be next week."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Never say anything bad about a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. By then he’s a mile away, you’ve got his shoes, and you can say whatever you want to."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Lutherans don't hold bingo games in the church basement. Lutherans are against fun in general, which is why for them, birth control has never been a big issue."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Computers can never completely replace humans. They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Woebegon"
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"A good newspaper is never good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?"
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"He was admired for never being at a loss for words and never wasting any either."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"It's important for survival that children have their own experiences, the kind they learn from. The kind their parents arrange for are not as useful. Good parents are the hardest to get rid of."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor"
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?"
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."
Quote by -Garrison Keillor