"It's important for survival that children have their own experiences, the kind they learn from. The kind their parents arrange for are not as useful. Good parents are the hardest to get rid of."

"Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it."

"Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor"

"The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose."

"When you wage war on the public schools, you're attacking the mortar that holds the community together. You're not a conservative, you're a vandal."

"We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass."

"If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?"

"Know the quiet place within your heart and touch the rainbow of possibility; be alive to the gentle breeze of communication, and please stop being such a jerk."

"Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people."

"It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake."

"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."

"Be well, do good work, and keep in touch."

"The most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that."

"I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense."

"Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places."

"Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it."

"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known."

"That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average."

"It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars."

"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny."

"Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that."

"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together."

"A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing."

"A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about."