Somebody said that in passing, you know, 'I hate cats.' You know, somebody really hates cats, and I've never figured that one out. And credit to cats - the ability to generate that much animosity, you know.

I ought to have Mike's Pirate School. The freshmen, all they get is the bandanna. When you're a senior, you get the sword and skull and crossbones. For homework, we'll work pirate maneuvers and stuff like that.

My life's pretty simple. Look at hours and hours of film to try to find some things that will work on Saturday. Try to have a good practice every day. Use the offseason to recruit and build the culture of the locker room. That's my deal.

Iowa is kind of a fascinating place.

I listen a lot to Howard Stern. Not the show, the interviews. He has a separate podcast of just interviews. They're fantastic.

There's shouting, there's blood, there's boogers, there's a whole thing. I mean, there's spitting, there's fighting, there's ripped jerseys. There's someone grabbing someone's throat. I mean, it's why you have football.

The government shutdown, we all know that's a sham. I mean, are they really going to just go to the entire Army and Navy and say, 'You're fired.'

Playing someone difficult is tough and can be discouraging, but if you beat them the payoff is huge!

There's a reason they only serve fruitcake once a year, because it's awful. There's a reason they only serve mint julep's once a year, because they're awful. And there's a reason they only serve candy corn once a year, because it's awful.

It's indisputable that you'll make way more money with a larger playoff.

I don't know everybody's view on due process, but I do have an opinion on what the Constitution says, what the Pledge of Allegiance implies, what sixth- and seventh-graders are taught in civics classes, and I think it is that you're going to have the opportunity to be heard.

There's nothing balanced about the 50 percent run, 50 percent pass because that's 50 percent stupid.

When I was at Tech, no public school was ahead of us in graduation rates. We got our guys to compete in the classroom, and if they're competing in class and in football, that's an attitude they take into life.

The interesting thing about football is that football is the only sport where you quit playing when you get a lead.

If you go to any elementary school classroom in Texas, some kids in there are going to be named either Austin, Dallas or Houston.

I've actually seen guys who I considered relatively stupid college coaches, then go to the NFL, and sanctimoniously think they understand that something the rest of us couldn't perceive. They're an idiot before, they're an idiot now, and they'll be an idiot afterwords. It's mind-numbing.

I'm a thin-crust pizza guy. I respect people who like thick crust, but in my view it's mostly bread.

I don't think people should be allowed to shoot guns unless they have a license.

If you get into a fight, don't take your helmet off. We're looking for smart football players, not dumb ones.

I do have a Viking axe by the bed if I need to whack someone... My wife bought me a Viking axe - the axe side curls down so you can grab the adversary around the neck and you can use it to climb walls, as a grappling hook.

You know, buffalo are significantly bigger than elk. I grew up near Yellowstone so I've been near buffalo. Buffalo are huge.

If your quarterback wants a deflated football, your soccer-style kicker is going to want it kind of full. If your quarterback wants it really full, your straight-on kicker is going to want less air in it. It's a regulation football; let them use it however they want to. You use your own ball.

How can it be that we laugh about England's obsession with the royal family? At least the royal family has college degrees and military service.

I don't feel like it's fair to the other players and I don't think it's the right way to do business to allow influence and position to dictate when you play a young man.