I'm afraid of only two things: being lazy and being cowardly.

I won't ever do e-mail.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

I took the liberal view for many decades, but I believe I have changed my mind.

I love the British.

The basis of drama is... the struggle of the hero towards a specific goal at the end of which he realises that what kept him from it was, in the lesser drama, civilisation and, in the great drama, the discovery of something that he did not set out to discover but which can be seen retrospectively as inevitable.

I know very well what it is to be out of work and to be cheated by employers and I know what it is to be an employer.

They say you can't study Kabbalah until you are at least 40 years old. You know why? You have to have experienced at least one generation making the same mistakes as the previous one.

In practice we, in the world, must do business with each other.

Mixed martial arts was invented by Brazilians, whose families had been trained by the Japanese. Those Brazilians came to the U.S., where their invention was bought out, gussied up and presented to the world, which found it good.

Each culture has its own form of staged combat, evolved from its particular method of street fighting and cleaned up for presentation as a spectacle, e.g. savate, Cornish wrestling, karate, kung-fu.

American football seems to resemble soccer in that one scores by putting the ball through the opponent's goal; but football, truly is about land. The Settlers want to move the line of scrimmage Westward, the Native Americans want to move it East.

It's upsetting to be a man in our society.

What I value most in my friends is loyalty.

The quality I most admire in a man is steadfastness.

My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line.

My idea of perfect happiness is a healthy family, peace between nations, and all the critics die.

When the three branches of government have failed to represent the citizenry and the mass of the media has failed to represent the citizenry, then the citizenry better represent the citizenry.

My tendency as an actor was to correct people, was to say, 'What if we tried it this way, what about if we tried that way?' That's terrible habit for an actor, but that's a good habit for director. So I became a director.

When I started out I was a failed actor.

I understand that computers, which I once believed to be but a hermaphrodite typewriter-cum-filing cabinet, offer the cyber literate increased ability to communicate. I do not think this is altogether a bad thing, however it may appear on the surface.

Our job, as writers is to do our jobs.

I grew up in a tough neighborhood and we used to say you can get further with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word.

The surprise is half the battle. Many things are half the battle, losing is half the battle. Let's think about what's the whole battle.