I stand by 'I'm not going to do 'The Office' again.' That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant's in Slough.

I've avoided doing a network comedy, because I wouldn't get my own way. Even though it would get more viewers, it wouldn't be mine.

I didn't like noisy cinemas when I wasn't famous.

I was very protective of my privacy. I didn't want people to write bad things about me that weren't true, because that's just not fair. Fifty percent of everything written about me is wrong.

I lift weights. Then I put them down again.

I was never ambitious. I was never ambitious at school.

I think I'm pretty self-aware.

I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke.

I don't know what Trump has to do to lose his supporters. It's like a religion. He's a school bully.

Even I can't talk about myself for an hour.

I like grown-up comedy, where it's about character and attitude and life as opposed to obvious gross-out and jokes.

I'm influenced by those '40s, '50s, and '60s films: things like 'The Apartment' - I was a big fan of Billy Wilder.

Luckily, even when people are shouting lies, the truth is undamaged. Science doesn't matter what you believe.

Making people laugh is easy for me. I'm quite proud of that. But I'm prouder of silencing an audience for a minute because they're thinking about something.

I don't do one-liners, because you don't learn anything about that comedian.

I love UFC, vigilante films, and any acts of merciless heroism.

Oh, let's face it: I hate everything in others.

All of my friends are oddities.

I really just want to make Karl Pilkington the new messiah.

The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.

To be fair to David Brent, he wants to be famous for doing something, for being a musician, but he's just not good enough.

I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet.

The best script in the world doesn't work perfectly when you actually act it out. That's a law. That's a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product.

Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.