If you're afraid to die, you're afraid to live. You can't have one without the other.

Any woman whose I.Q. hovers above her body temperature must be a feminist.

He tried to drown his troubles but they knew how to swim.

Don't hope more than you're willing to work.

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.

He unzipped his pants and his brains fell out.

Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to.

A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all.

Writers will happen in the best of families.

I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.

When God made man she was practicing.

Unfortunately, Susan didn't remember what Jane Fulton once said, 'Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

Women need to feel loved and men need to feel needed.

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Loving's pretty easy. It's letting someone love you that's hard.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.

When I got [my] library card, that was when my life began.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won't like you at all.

Sorrow is how we learn to love. Your heart isn't breaking. It hurts because it's getting larger. The larger it gets, the more love it holds.

I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.