You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

The raising of an eyebrow, how you do it; when you look, how you look. All those little things are physical.

For one thing, you need a lot of self-confidence to be on the top of your field. There are times probably where I appear to be over-confident or arrogant. It's really in the eye of the beholder.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

I've always loved the 'Weekend Update' people.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

I turned down 'American Gigolo.' There are many films - like 'Ghostbusters' - that I turned down... The first one I did was 'Foul Play' with Goldie Hawn, but I turned down 'Animal House' - I turned that down.

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

Live a life of grace. You'll be a better person for it, and so will your children.

All those car battles with my brother Ned were excellent training. Even now, on the set, if we're getting into a vehicle, I'll yell 'shotgun' first. Thus forcing Steve Martin into the back of the car.

Comparing 'Christmas Vacation' to 'It's A Wonderful Life' is the silliest thing. That film starred the greatest movie actor of all time, and the idea that our movie could ever be connected in some fashion to something so brilliant and beautiful always made feel like, 'That's all they had to write about?'

'Weekend Update' can be presented as a full 20-minute sketch, and there's a lot of room there.

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

All preconceptions when you laugh go out the window. Laughter kills it.

I was a young, new, hot star, and I had this unbelievable arrogance. As time went on, the strident narcissism and arrogance slowly diminished. But I was definitely there. I'm older now. And a big crybaby.

Yes, I've seen Louis CK. I wouldn't in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but the question is do I think anyone is funny? And the answer is not too many people. He might fit right in there.

What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.

What's funny is funny. The same thing that made you laugh a hundred years ago makes you laugh now.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

I was very involved in political satire, and I'd been writing parody for 'Mad' and 'National Lampoon,' so I made up some strange story about Gerald Ford.

Any good actor has to have a good sense of humour, too; they have to be able to manipulate people.

Break as few bones as possible and make as much noise as you can.

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if we were doing drugs.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my three-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make a movie called Chevy Chase.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just so unnatural. Only people who've been in that position can realize what it's like. I mean, you have to be there.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

You can't observe as much if you're observed by others.

I guess I look so straight and normal, nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how you dish it out. It's timing, like a dancer or an athlete would have.