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My brain acts bizarrely and I keep having major mood swings.
Gareth Thomas
This journey of education and breaking stigma around HIV is something that will have a legacy everlasting.
Everything I do, I do it being myself.
Wherever I am in my life, it's because rugby has enabled me to do that.
I was able to come out as gay publicly because my family had accepted me. They thought nothing of it, and without them I wouldn't have been able to do it. If I didn't have them in my life I would have felt like I had no one.
My father always pretends to hate Christmas. But when we were children he was the first one waking us up, saying: 'Do you think Father Christmas has been yet?'
My sport was my comfort. The routine, the camaraderie, the team... everyone's around you. After rugby you're on your own.
If you add children to a marriage, they bring a different dimension to the relationship. If I'd had a child and I believed it would have made my child's life better by not coming out, the chances are I wouldn't have done it. Because I think you do whatever it takes to make your child happy.
Part of a sportsman's job is taking banter from the crowd.
I'm not going on a crusade but I'm proud of who I am. I feel I have achieved everything I could ever possibly have hoped to achieve out of rugby and I did it being gay. I want to send a positive message to other gay people that they can do it, too.
You cannot afford to take any risks where your health is concerned.
I knew I was gay at 18, but to come out then would have meant I would not have achieved what I did in rugby. I loved rugby so much and it was so important to me that I made the decision to keep my sexuality secret. People may disagree with that, but it was my belief and my decision.
There are times in my life when I've wanted never to exist. There's times you don't want to go back to.
Toulouse opened my eyes as a player and as a person. I returned to Wales 10 times better for the experience. I admit that when I went there I was not life-savvy: I was a wild child who lived life instinctively. I would walk past a building and not even notice it.
I became the master of playing the straight bat - I would go to bars with the boys, I would always be the one to start a fight, to be outrageous and drink the most. I even went to the extreme of marrying the perfect woman for me.
There are excuses for dropping the ball or missing a tackle. But there are no excuses for not playing with a passion for your team-mates and as long as I get that response and they play well, I'll be happy.
I know that my parents sacrificed a hell of a lot to make sure that my brothers and I would have all that we needed.
Every gay man will tell you that 'coming out' is like a weight lifted from your shoulders and beng able to walk down the street knowing that there is nothing for me to hide has been a liberating experience.
I hate driving.
I'm a sportsman, as good and strong as you, who just happens to be gay.
All I'm concerned about is that I'm with a good squad of players and want us to be competitive and I'm not looking for anything more.
When I got married to my ex-wife, Jemma, I took my vows very, very seriously. I've been brought up with good values and I don't go into anything thinking: this is just for the sake of it - it's not going to last.
If I hadn't had the rugby field to get rid of my aggression I would have been locked up a long time ago.
If you can't give 100% to rugby then you can't do it justice.
You could say I'm the pioneer in the way I have changed some people's perception of not only sports people but of gay men in general. It's also important that people also realise that as much as a pioneer I'm also just a normal person. I'm normal but I've done something that's pretty powerful as well.
I'm terrible for road rage.
I think what I want to learn more than anything... is that, I've got HIV and it's OK, like. That's what I want to learn more than anything.
You tell that to people until you are blue in the face and they struggle to believe it, but I am being totally truthful when I say that all that matters to me is Wales winning.
I am not interested in individual glory.
When I first started at Bridgend, I'd see the amount of work Rob Howley put in on his own after the team had all gone home. He was doing ridiculous amounts. So I started training like him. Always on my own.
It's too easy to forget bad things. By keeping the reminders close, it's the reminder of not just who you are, but how you became what you are.
I want to be a good person.
It has always been my ambition to be captain of Wales over a sustained period of time.
When you cross the whitewash, you only think about the present.
It was a huge honour to be chosen by the Lions and to lead the side, but the greatest of all is to represent your country and win.
There are days when I wake up and do not know who I am any more.
I don't care about the size of the crowd or other people's opinions - I just want us to perform.
It's not about shutting people up or proving them wrong. It's about proving to ourselves what we're about.
In 1999, we went into the World Cup with a string of victories behind us but we could not handle the pressure and ended up letting ourselves down.
The World Cup has not been kind to us overall.
I have always said that leadership is not about one man but a group of experienced players.
In Toulouse, you immersed yourself in the culture of the place.
The rugby team is a massive part of the city and generates a real passion but there is also far more to Toulouse. I learned not only to respect the history of the club but also the area and I soon came to appreciate 'buildings and structures.
Toulouse expanded my game. You were given a freedom to play and express yourself on the field. Toulouse is the biggest club in Europe, rugby's equivalent of Real Madrid. Their game has always been about offloading and running but it is also physical, the complete 'package. It was always exciting, no matter how close a game was.
I don't know if my life is going to be easier because I'm out but, if it helps someone else, if it makes one young lad pick up the phone to ChildLine, then it will have been worth it.
My parents, my family and my friends all love me and accept me for who I am and, even if the public are upset by this, I know the love of those people who mean the most to me will never change.
I really want to remain involved in rugby. I want to continue and have an influence on the game.
I feel I am as fit as anybody.
If you could bottle that special feeling you sometimes get in a dressing room just before a match, you'd be a billionaire.
The most famous man in the world has his down days. It's life. But, for me, the rainy moments are isolated moments. I'm always at least half-full. And the rest of the time I'm smiling - all the way up to the brim.