I wasn't funny. My brother was the funny one in the family.

I wasn't very good in my serious acting class. Sometimes people took our class so seriously, so I used to, sort of, make fun of people after class. And so a friend of mine said, 'Why don't you do the comedy thing.' That's how it all worked out.

I wanted to be a dramatic actress. Life doesn't go the way you think it's going to go.

The minute I started doing comedy, the doors opened.

The best thing about animated-feature people is that they are very laid-back people. You feel like you're showing up for a backyard barbecue.

Dating is... weird.

Unless you write your own movies... you can't really say what you want to say.

There's something about me that suggests I don't have an intelligent atom in me at all. So people say things to me that they wouldn't say to other people. Insulting, condescending things. They don't think I notice. But, of course, I'm taking it all in.

Stand-up is a weird animal. There are people who really want to know what you think about things, your opinion on life. But then there are people who think you're just that beautician in 'Legally Blonde,' who doesn't have opinions on anything. Or that I'm Stifler's mom and hot for it all the time.

When I go on 'The View,' or any of those talk shows, you really don't get to say what you want to say.

The British boys really, really go nuts... to them, an older woman is sexy, and it's an incredible fantasy... I think the American fantasy is still about men wanting control. Maybe American men don't feel as in control of their lives.

Younger guy are attracted to a strong quality.

A lot of those good-looking girl parts aren't very fun.

I've been many people. I've been the skinny girl. I've been the fat girl. Because I've become a character actress, I sort of fell victim to 'Well, I don't have to look good anymore.'

If I wasn't an actress and I wasn't Stifler's mom, my life would be so dull.

I've played a lot of weird women. I play crazy ladies, and I've played a lot of insane women and weird best friends that are not sexually desirable.

All the guys that entered The Groundlings, like Will Ferrell, already had incredible confidence, but I watched shut down women that didn't even have a personality completely become different human beings because of the training.

The odd things that people say to you are so much more hilarious than what you can come up with.

There are some people who make you feel less lonely.

Some people are really nice about it. I get Saudi princes and famous people stopping me in L.A. and saying, 'You're Stifler's mom. Can I take a picture with you?' But then you get people like her putting their camera in your face without asking. They think they can do whatever they like.

I was the cocktail waitress, and Sandra Bullock was the host, and this guy came in and persuaded me to try improv with Gotham City Improv.

I figured New York was the closest I'd get here in America to Scotland.

To be honest, sometimes I'm horrified because you don't really know what you look like. If I really knew what I was doing on-screen, I would try to stop doing it.

I always like to get a role where I think, 'Ah, I know this is probably going to be played like this, but I'm going to do it like this.'

I don't know what I am. I guess you can call me a character actor in the sense that I'll never be an ingenue. You know, that's over. My shot was missed. I take a normal person and make them more of a character. I don't know what that would be called.

It seems almost impossible to me that the whole world doesn't know CPR.

I'm so vain, all I could think was I should have stopped at 'American Pie.'

I can't get the serious roles. People don't see me that way.

It's really hard for me to meet someone. I don't want to date actors. Been there, done that. Only one actor per household, please.

I was thinking, 'If I go bald, I might do something like Bret Michaels and have it all attached to a handkerchief.'

Our secret desire as women is to have a guy who falls madly in love with us even though we're incredibly opinionated or we're not the sort of normal, polite, poised woman.

When you're on this major English estate, breathing in the English air, and it's untouched, you can feel its presence. It's a whole different feel. It really felt like we were there living it. It didn't feel modern, ever.

I always feel in movies, I don't know if it's because I'm jaded, but I always feel like we don't go far enough.

I always get excited when I find out there's a sequel, because all the work is kind of done.

I do shows, stage shows all the time, and I'm so afraid that people are going to recognize themselves, and they never do. They never do. They're always like, 'Oh, that woman was ridiculous,' and yeah, they're talking about themselves.

Cate Blanchett and others, they get this broad range of all these cool people they can play. Some women really do get it all. For me, it is the same thing that happens over and over. I should change that and maybe write my own thing.

Werner Herzog, when I auditioned for 'Bad Lieutenant,' he had never seen any of my films. He thought I was this actress living in New Orleans and it was my first job.

I do have to say, there is this incredible benefit to being older. I never thought I'd say that. I've figured out that show business isn't the end-all. I thought I'd never be tired of Hollywood, of the experience, and I have to say there's some relief. As you get older, your taste changes.

I'm not a prude.

I'm so lucky I got a career in my 30s because these young girls aren't allowed to have their 20s. It's all being documented.

I kind of waited for opportunities to be handed to me. I think I was lazy, and when things didn't go right, I just said, 'Oh well.'

You get the older version of women that you've played before.

When people slave over those scripts and pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for them, they don't usually want you to add farts.

I think I get credit for my timing because most of the time, I really have no idea where I'm going with it.

Hugh Grant has that magic in real life, so when he's saying these lines, 'It's always been you,' it's just devastating.

If things don't work out with one person, there's many other people to replace you with online.

I love that topic, the whole relationship thing, and I think that's why I love all this stuff, the Jane Austen stuff.

I don't think men really fall in love with the outspoken girl.

I don't think my career would be as good if I were a serious actress. Comedy is less age-conscious.

I wasn't allowed to watch regular television when I was growing up, only PBS, so I watched 'Masterpiece Theatre' and a lot of Jane Austen. I loved stories where the girl is attracted to a man and it looks like it's not going to work out.