I love 'Pointless.'

The Time It Takes' is one of the most brilliantly daft shows I've ever been involved in - and that's saying something.

I don't want someone to be nice and friendly while telling me my bill's gone up by 10 per cent because they've just decided that.

I'm so British and polite that creating a scene or being confrontational is so not my vibe.

It's a bit embarrassing for a company to be exposed for wrongdoing, but it's really embarrassing if it's done by making them the butt of a joke.

Alan Carr is an out and proud gay man but there isn't a famous bisexual equivalent - it's a lot rarer.

I originally came out as gay when I was a teenager, then backtracked when I thought I had closed off the market a bit!

I sleep all the time! I often leave an event early because I want to have a snooze.

Even though I now eat meat, I have halloumi every day - even at breakfast.

I think the city isn't talked about enough, there are not enough people championing Birmingham. When I was at university in Manchester I wasn't a fan, I was a bit down on my home city. But as I've got older I love living here. It's easy to get around the country to gigs, and it's a calming, friendly city.

I never wanted to be famous, I just wanted to be creative for my job, I suppose, and perform.

My philosophy is, if I couldn't say it in front of my grandmother, I probably shouldn't say it.

It is amazing that I'm making a career out of comedy, my family can't quite believe it.

I don't do vulgarity, I prefer to talk about nice things.

I often ask people in the audience what their favourite cheese is. Anything less than Gruyere and they're just not middle class!

I think it's important some people do publicly go 'Hey, I'm not straight and I'm not gay. I'm somewhere in the middle and that's ok.'

I think it's important to go out and gig all over the country, it makes you a better comic.

As a child, I used to bite my toenails, which is grim. I can still do it.

I love painting. I love writing. I love creating and being around people who are creating.

I used to sing classical music to the flowers in the garden and imagine they were all different parts of the orchestra. It used to really annoy the neighbours.

I do a very good impression of Louis Armstrong.

When you're going into companies and you're secret filming, I didn't realise the amount of protection that you need legally before you can do just the slightest thing.

I think it's something to do with the nurturing side of the psyche; tying up a sunflower or whatever and helping it grow, it is just some kind of core human experience.

I would like to be constantly thinking about life, trying to make it funny.

The idea was to become an actor. Then I found I really didn't like acting.

I just want people to have a laugh.

As a comic, you just want to be liked.

I buy flowers for myself all the time. I'm comedy's Elton John.

I remember weeping silently in bed after watching 'Titanic.'

You can't go too far wrong with the Pointer Sisters.

I quite like the idea that I'm a situation.

My sewing skills are terrible!

I'm good at throwing fabric on myself!

Competitions are great. Unlike a lot of other creative industries they are a great way of climbing the ladder early on. If you win a comp you get on the big clubs' radar. Some people are not great at competitions, so it doesn't work out for everybody, but it is certainly a good way of getting seen by industry people.

A theatre tour as me, Joe Lycett, with support acts. That would be the dream.

I don't have too much of a grand plan.

In England, there are four major cities within a two-hour drive, so the comedy circuit thrives as a result.

I don't think I like sharing the limelight.