The BBC has a strict policy of having Clare Balding present everything.

Brits have a peculiar sense of humour. I love it.

You need to think about how you will pay for children before you have them.

Cancer is a cruel killer. It creeps up on us when we aren't expecting it. But cake is not cancer. A doughnut does not creep up on you.

Michelle Visage rocks.

The opinion that Trump equals hate is not a fact. It is a view.

Imams seldom condemn terror. And in their silence, in the void, acceptance - encouragement even - is assumed.

Women are a strange thing. Like watches, houses, and cars, you really only need one at any moment in your life (French men disagree).

Work is hard, and jobs can be dull. But you can't just take a holiday when you feel like it. You turn up because it is the right thing to do.

Typically, housewives and working mums hate each other like dogs fighting for a bone.

Stay-at-home mums love working mums to feel guilty. They sacrificed everything for their children.

Once you have conquered your profession and are standing at the summit, it is all very well to look back down the slope and indulge yourself with regrets.

Women simply cannot stay home and get to the top at work.

When the only thing you look forward to in life is lunch, you know you have had your just desserts, and it is time to call it a day.

I am very good at being told off and rather enjoy it.

While Corbyn would not enjoy the comparison, he and Farage are the same beast - with very different heads.

Some of us have tough lives and find chocolate is a comfort and a friend. And some of us prefer a night on the sofa with Ant & Dec to hitting the gym. But whatever your excuse - and there is always an excuse - we are a nation of fatties.

My mother says ladies perspire and men sweat. Clearly, I am more of a man.

Ladies, I urge you never to buy a black bathroom suite. 'CBB' decided this would be glamorous. 'CBB' was wrong.

I celebrate those who wear their red poppies with pride.

I love being on Aussie breakfast TV. They like people who speak their mind and tell it like it is.

There are times this stony heart of mine feels a burst of British pride.

Scratch below the surface, and you will find I am a patriotic little thing, desperately proud to be part of this island nation.

The great thing about letting people be true to themselves is they often do very good things indeed.

If anyone is on my husband's arm, it's going to be me.

If you are confiding in someone, it needs to be the woman in your life. If that woman is your mother, you may as well scuttle back under her petticoats and let the real women in pencil skirts and tortuous heels get on with the job of husband-hunting.

The more crap you have had to deal with in your life, the better you are at handling 'Big Brother.'

I hate cars that much, I don't even own one. The last one I bought was a Honda CR-V which I didn't even take for a test drive because I was so disinterested. But I love 'Top Gear.'

Should people working in our country speak English? Yes, they should.

Most wives look at me the way lame deer look at a hungry lion.

We are not a nation of strikes and inaction. We will not be preached at by militant unionists with a crap whippet and a chip on each shoulder.

Teaching kids to respect rules is key.

Investing in children's education is vital.

I watch 'The Great British Bake Off' in the way I used to watch people kiss on TV in front of my parents when I was young. Cringe.

If you over-deliver and prove yourself to be an asset to the company, you will be rewarded as a result.

If you sign up for TV, expect the edit to make things interesting.

Politicians used to be leaders. Now they follow voters, desperate for a tick in a box.

I have strong opinions, and I am not afraid to share them.

There are all sorts of parents I hate - super-keen parents, PTA parents, and fat parents on a bus.

Own your problems.

Sunshine is supposed to make you happy.

Most mums are not reliable.

Anything that needs to be labelled 'The Entertainment' usually isn't - especially when it is provided by the endlessly enthusiastic Joel or Nadia wearing trainers and a whistle.

Many teachers seem to believe their opinions are right, and therefore, all other viewpoints are wrong. And they are indoctrinating our children with their beliefs.

Being a minority voice is still brave - even if the minority voice is from the right wing.

I was a really bad single mum. I used to go to the supermarket just for somewhere to go.

If I was fat and had a strong regional accent and was a bloke, I'd be a stand-up. Because I think I'm funny.

Those who are most pious and noble tend to be the least tolerant.

I really believe the stuff I say.