All my boyfriends are in their 20s.

I grew up in Chattanooga.

I have a lot of shame, and until I got sober at 42 years of age, I had never voted. I was just a hippie.

I'm not Kathy Griffin. I can't do 1200 seat venues. I need 300, 400 something like that.

I don't know why all three, my comedic idols are... women.

In my day there was no one to tell me anything and I feel I have a responsibility to help a new generation. A lady in Atlanta came up to me and said: 'Honey, you are a ministry.' It is about the knowledge I can give others. I think gays will look after their own.

In my head I have had the most torrid affairs with actors I have worked with. You should hear what George Clooney and I have got up to!

Time has taught me that parents do the best they can with the light they are seeing with. That is what we all do.

I grew up riding. From the time I was nineteen years old to the time I was twenty five I exercised race horses.

I was always the class clown. I was always the funny one.

People are really surprised when they meet me that I'm a recluse. People think I'm very gregarious and outgoing - and I am - I'm thinking about writing a book about it called 'The Gregarious Recluse.' How the more that you put me out there in front of audiences, the more that when I have down time I have to disappear.

Lesbian humor is nothing like gay men's humor. We're sillier.

I'm on the road almost eight months of the year.

I'm a true Hollywood success story - knew no one, had no connections.

I won an Emmy in 2006!

I can entertain myself for hours.

I'd do an exercise video because there are so many gay men with these perfect abs and they do exercise videos. So I did an exercise video where my stomach looked like my water's about to break.

We figured out as a community of gay people, we have to take care of our own.

I was there when APLA was started in somebody's living room.

My gift is to be funny.

We've got to be kind.

Growing up, the main thing I was ashamed of was my voice. It is very effeminate.

I had a degree from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, where they said, 'Mr. Jordan, please learn to pronounce your degree.' 'Cause I said I have a degree in 'thee-a-ter.'

I really think 'Straight Outta Chattanooga' is one of my best shows.

I have not left the house after 6 o'clock without a paycheck for years.

I am not a drag queen.

You just can't move back with your mom at 64. It just doesn't quite work.

I can spot a homosexual at forty paces.

The church was everything: our social engagements, Sunday morning, Sunday evening. Wednesday night was the hour of power. We had Bible study on certain days. Saturday afternoon was choir practice. I wanted desperately to be a good Christian.

I got sober at age forty-two.

I always thought I'd be good at musicals, and it turns out I make up for my lack of skill with enthusiasm.

My theater professor once said to me 'Leslie, you are capable of genuine artistry but you're the laziest actor I know. And yes, you can make people laugh, but you're going to become a parody of yourself and end up in Hollywood if you're not careful.' And he's right, I did all of that.

I've never been known for being a team player, but I've adjusted to being part of a big cast and it has worked out beautifully.

Beverley Leslie was closeted. I'm not closeted. He was a little homophobic. He's a social climber. I'm nothing like that. He had a mean streak. I don't think I'm mean at all.

I have a standup I do in gay bars, and it's filthy. I have to assess the crowd. If it's an all-gay crowd, I'll dip into the stories of my sordid past.

I do so many cruises out of Miami, all the RSVP ones. And I'm on the cruises out of Fort Lauderdale all the time. I'm always doing cruise after cruise out of there.

I've always sang a little like a 16-year-old girl, but even Ann-Margret stopped after a while and brought it down a bit.

I'm one of the most popular cabaret performers, and I don't sing a note. And nobody expects me to sing.

My success on the road is predicated on my success in Hollywood.

I wasn't what you would envision for the son of an Army man. I liked doll baby clothes and twirled a baton. But my aunts and uncles tell me how much he loved me.

One of the main reasons I started writing these one-man shows was that this really evil casting director once said to me, 'you're peripheral and you'll always be peripheral. You'll come in with the zingers and have very little to do, so just accept that and take the money.'

What's been interesting is that the more famous the person is, the less they seem to care if I talk about them.

I love, love, love South Florida.

I feel as if I've been to Miami a million times because I do so many cruises out of Miami.

I had an awful experience where I went to the U.K. and did reality. I can't even get into it - it was called 'Celebrity Big Brother U.K.'

I really was in jail with Robert Downey Jr.

I don't sing. I don't dance.

I've done every series that had gone down the toilet.

I'm Southern, I'm gay, I'm little - I get Ma'am'd a lot on the phone.

The fact that I had a gay agent was good because he could say: 'Honey, you've got an audition today. Keep your feet on the ground, O.K.?'