QUOTES by Pete Holmes
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
There are elements of comedy that can be competitive and back stab-y, but one of the underreported sides is that we love each other and help each other, kind of like a messed up extended family.
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Losing your faith is an essential part of having a three-dimensional, vivid, vibrant faith.
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There's something about a podcast that feels like two people in a closet with the lights off.
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When I started, I was very deliberate about making friends with people like John Mulaney who were really funny and wanted to go up and do as many open mics as I did.
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People like Bill Burr and Jim Gaffigan and Zach Galifianakis and Sarah Silverman - they were all amazing and helpful to me.
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Audiences sometimes emit these weird frequencies that make you think you've weirded them out.
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I am a comedian. My brain is critical - it's overthinking - but you can find ways to turn it down and realize that's not who you really are.
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I'm a comedian. Comedians are supposed to be jaded, cynical, angry people. But I'm not: I'm a silly, silly fun boy.
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Starting the podcast was an experiment. I wouldn't say I was very private, but I was probably as private as the average person.
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I didn't like talking about my divorce. I think I viewed that as something that was embarrassing or a failure.
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Every performer I talk to will, with different words, talk about the sanctity of a good standup show, how it can really feel spiritual. When everybody is laughing, fixed on the same thing, you feel like you transcend yourself.
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There's nothing you can do to increase or decrease the love that God has for you, but there are things you can do that increase or decrease your awareness of that love. That's certainly been my experience.
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What I don't think I knew when I was young was that 'losing your faith' is actually part of the plan for a lot of people - that it's actually maybe the most beautiful and graceful thing that can happen. The mystery of God can handle all of it. It can handle all of your thoughts, all of your doubts, all of your folly. It's all in the game.
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If I go out and do a set, there's a good chance that I'll watch another comedian. I'll think - not necessarily their words, but oftentimes the message that's behind the words - the sort of belief that their unspokenly advocating, well, sometimes that's offensive.
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I was raised evangelical, so if you want to get offended, let's get offended. I have a master's degree in being offended.
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When you think about a festival from a comedian's perspective, it has to do with who else does it - that's number one. The second consideration - and this is kind of crazy - is: 'What's the food like? What is the town like? Is it walkable? Is it easy to get around?'
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I went and saw Letterman when I was 15, and that had a profound impact on me.
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I think a good comedian was probably bullied a little bit. Probably felt doughy and oblong and rhombus-shaped and strange and a little bit of an outsider, and then learned the healing qualities of comedy.
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There's something about taking emotional and career and relationship humiliations, writing them, acting them out again, but then redeeming them in some way.
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Every human being can relate to wanting their thoughts and their feelings to be accepted and rewarded and validated. So in that way, a stand-up is similar to almost any profession. It's very simply just someone who wants to be heard and live authentically and express themselves.
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I think it can be easy at a certain point to take it for granted that you can kind of perform whatever you want.
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When somebody comes across as authentic and genuine and sweet, people just want to spend time with that person.
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It's true that in show business, a lot of times a producer will just not ever be there, not even be aware that a show is renewed or canceled.
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I wanted to be a pastor. I was going to be a youth pastor. I mean, I play guitar; I like to make people laugh.
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A stand-up act is almost like a pool. You know what I mean? It's like a pool, and you're always skimming little leaves out of it, messing with the chlorine level, putting up umbrellas. You're trying to make one little stagnant body of water perfect. Whereas a late-night show is like a river, always moving forward.
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I remember talking to comedian Jimmy Pardo about his experience waiting to hear about his own pilot, and we both agreed on one thing: When you can't control your showbiz fate, you can at least control the amount of ice cream you're eating. And if you're like us, it was a lot.
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I always wanted to do something about what it's like to get divorced, especially when it's a young marriage to start with.
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I knew I wanted a 'Girls'-type show about my life, but what's the big thing that happened to me? Oh, I got married when I was young.
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I mostly do faces and sounds. That's what I do. Comedy doesn't have to be art.
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I needed to let go of the idea of a God who was mad at me for feeling how I was feeling. Now, I bask in an understanding of the divine that delights in truth and the complexities of the human experience - even when it's not very 'clean.'
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I'm not going to have the TV personality and be like, 'There's no bitterness. There's no ugliness.' There's bitterness. There's ugliness. There's pain. There's greed. There's malice, and there's hurt. That's all good stuff for any kind of art. I'm not necessarily feeding that side of myself, and I try not to encourage it too much.
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If I open a Batman book, and he doesn't look right, I can't do it. It has so much to do with the art.
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Religion often is very embarrassing, and I totally get it. So I am sort of sometimes burdened with the fact that I love talking about it with anybody. Not just religious people.
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When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes voted for Trump. This me is begging for change. This me is driving me to the airport.' I find that useful instead of going, like - because it's so pleasant to go 'you.'
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