"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

"Karl Marx: "Religion is the opiate of the masses." Carrie Fisher: "I did masses of opiates religiously."

"I don’t want life to imitate art. I want life to BE art."

"If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable."

"Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell."

"There's no room for demons when you're self-possessed."

"Actually,I am a failed anorexic. I have anorexic thinking, but I can't seem to muster the behavoir"

"Instant gratification takes too long."

"I feel I'm very sane about how crazy I am."

"I shot through my twenties like a luminous thread through a dark needle, blazing toward my destination: Nowhere."

"What worries me is, what if this guy is really the one for me and I just haven't had enough therapy yet for me to be comfortable with having found him."

"Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line."

"You know how I always seem to be struggling, even when the situation doesn't call for it?"

"I envy people who have the capacity to sit with another human being and find them endlessly interesting, I would rather watch TV. Of course this becomes eventually known to the other person."

"No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away."

"Look,' he said, 'I don't think we should continue this discussion. I don't like this side of you.' 'I'm not a box,' she said 'I don't have sides. This is it. One side fits all. This is it."

"Guys are great before you know who they are,' said Lucy. 'They're great when you're still with who they might be."

"My inner world seems largely to consist of three rotating emotions: embarrassment, rage, and tension. Sometimes I feel excited, but I think that's just positive tension."

"Good anecdote--bad reality."

"We live in America,' he said. 'Everyone who speaks English understands you. How they interpret you is something else."

"Sometimes I think all I want to find is a mean guy and make him be nice to me. Or maybe a nice guy who's a little bit mean to me. But they're usually too nice too soon or too mean too long."

"From here on out, there's just reality. I think that's what maturity is: a stoic response to endless reality. But then, what do I know?"

"There is no point at which you can say, 'Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

"Sometimes I feel like I've got my nose pressed up against the window of a bakery, only I'm the bread."

"And when you're young you want to fit in. Hell, I still want to fit in with certain humans, but as you get older you get a little more discriminating."

"I quote fictional characters, because I'm a fictional character myself!"

"You know the bad thing about being a survivor... You keep having to get into difficult situations in order to show off your gift."

"In my opinion, a problem derails your life and an inconvenience is not being able to get a nice seat on the un-derailed train."

"In my opinion, a problem derails your life and an inconvenience is not being able to get a nice seat on the un-derailed train."

"...I thought you had to go to Iraq to get post traumatic stress disorder. And you do. But you can also just come on over to my house!"

"The only thing worse than being hurt is everyone knowing that you're hurt."

"Immediate gratification takes too long."

"And not that it matters, but my mother is not a lesbian! She's just a really, really bad heterosexual."

"Never let 'em see you ache"; that's what Mr. Mayer always said. Or was it ass; "Never let 'em see your ass"?"

"Do you or do you not like wearing earrings in your mouth that will one day smell like your ex-boyfriend's dick?"

"You're not really famous until youre a Pez dispenser."

"As we all know, there is no underwear in space."

"My life is like a lone, forgotten Q-Tip in the second-to-last drawer."

"Never let 'em see you ache. That's what Mr. Mayer used to say. Or was it ass? Never let 'em see your ass."

"...about a year after that, I was invited to go to a mental hospital. And, you know, you don't want to be rude, so you go."