On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.