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27-May-1943
United Kingdom
I don't want to be a burden on anybody.
Cilla Black
I've had a blessed life. I've pulled back from trying to control my destiny and gone back to accepting whatever fate has in store for me. I live for today because I don't know what'll happen tomorrow.
It's true what they say: 'You don't appreciate what you've got until it's gone.' I miss love. I miss being looked after.
I love books and the latest autobiographies. I'm a Gemini and love being with people, but then again, I love my own company, which is when I read most.
I remember one day my son, our Robert, was looking at me on the settee and looking at me on the television, and then all of a sudden he said: 'Why don't you bring that pretty mummy home with you?' And I thought: 'Oh dear, I'm going to have to dress up at home now as well!'
I am falling apart. My hand is falling apart. I can't shake hands. I had arthritis, and I had an operation for it.
I've had days when I go in my bedroom for 24 hours at a time. I call them my Cilla Black days, and they're literally black days. It's like the old Boomtown Rats song 'I Don't Like Mondays.' You just want to shut the whole day down.
On my gravestone, I want 'Here lies the singer,' not 'Here lies the T.V. presenter'.
I'm a Roman Catholic. Or was. I was brought up that way and used to say my prayers every night, but I don't pray to God any more. I might use the usual phrases I picked up from my parents, 'Oh, if God spares me next year...' or 'Please God...' but they're only phrases.