Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.

The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time.

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of TV shows. People don't want to hear from me.