Being sexually harassed is the worst. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. Being sexually harassed by an ugly guy is the worst... If he's hot, it's just plain old flirting.

When you can analyze situations and figure out what's best for you, based on you and not some preconceived notion of what society expects, then nothing is a threat.

I firmly believe in standing by what you are. I was never taught to dim my light to pacify other people.

I believe in having a neat workspace because everything else in my life is so unpredictable, and my mind is so crowded - I wake up with commercials from the '90s blaring in my head. I try to give myself a fighting chance by having an organized workspace.

My comedy is a bit cartoonlike, if I really think about it.

I believe in always having a lot of irons in the fire.

You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story.

Most women have jobs that require them to leave the house. A cat is actually a perfect pet. You get the love and companionship of a creature covered in fur, and you don't have to take it for a walk, and it can feed itself. Less maintenance. Surely any man can appreciate the practicality of this choice.

The women who are pool waitresses are another worldly species. They're half-desert lizards. They never have sunburns.