The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Never fight an inanimate object.

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.