"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

"I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!"

"Happiness is a warm puppy."

"What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?"

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong'. Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night."

"I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it."

"Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational."

"All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog."