"At some point in your life, if you're lucky, you throw practicality to the wind and start living."

"It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners."

"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food"

"Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."

"I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . ."

"It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: "THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE." Loosely translated, this means, "You're on your own, Bernice."

"As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her."

"A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory -- an empty bottle of gin."

"I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from a size 5 to a size 3 by liposuction. Was she serious? I've cooked bigger turkeys than her "before" picture."