“It's not what you don't know that kills you, it's what you know for sure that ain't true.”

“What is joy without sorrow? what is success without failure? what is a win without a loss? what is health without illness? you have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. there is always going to be suffering. it’s how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you.”

“Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.”

“Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.”

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.”

“Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”

“It is easier to stay out than to get out.”

“There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer them, or turn them into literature.”

“I can last two months on a good compliment.”

“All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.”

“She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and gentle exterior burned inextinguishable fires of sympathy, energy, devotion, enthusiasm, and absolutely limitless affection.”

“If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.”

“Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.”

“Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.”

“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”

“Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.”

“Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.”

“The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.”

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”

“Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.”

“Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

“He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'.”

“When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.”

“Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.”