I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.

The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator.

I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.

George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.

I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it.

As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.

Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.

When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off.

There's nothing like the energy in a small comedy club room or a small theater when it's going really well. I can see everybody's face practically in the whole room. There's no cameras in the way, and it's just me.

I love Las Vegas. I like that Las Vegas has everything. Everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas. You can pretty much do it all day and all night if you want to.

International soccer has been a big part of my love for the sport. I love the Men's National Team. I can say that they're my favorite sports team.

I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped.

I've got to say that I don't see myself as some sort of political type like Alec Baldwin or Barbra Streisand. I don't want to come across like that. I'd be embarrassed if that was the way I came across.

I love doing 'The Price is Right.' It's so much fun. I love meeting everybody and giving out prizes, especially when it's not my money. It's really a happy place, and everybody is all jazzed up.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

I looked at game show hosting as the bottom of the totem pole, one step away from infomercials. I never watched them myself. However, it's been a lot of fun.

I am happy that I ran the half-marathon, but to me, just running and saying that I finished a race isn't enough for me. I want to run the race as best as I can. Working out for pants size isn't enough. I need a goal or a race to get back on the treadmill every day.

I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.

Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there.