Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

Age doesn’t protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

The cliche is that life is a mountain. You go up, reach the top and then go down.

One thing you have to give up is attaching importance to what My face has changed with the years and has enough history in it to give audiences something to work with.people see in you.

Some children I have met are very beautiful. Some children are imbeciles, vulgar, terrible.

Some gods may cross your path, but why should gods be beautiful? They could also be frightening.

Something pretty... that's just the surface. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don't worry about it.

Sometimes the directors were afraid of what they brought out of me.