The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!

Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.