QUOTES by Jeff Foxworthy
Find most favourite and famour Authors from A.A Milne to Zoe Kravitz.
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I never thought I would do a game show, but now I guess I'm now officially in that genre.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
If you ahve ever unloaded your pickup by backing up really fast and slamming on the brakes, you might be a redneck.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, 'Hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God, none of us have a shot here.' We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
When I first started out, being from the South and going to New York or Chicago, people kept telling me to get voice lessons and 'lose that stupid accent you got.' And I'm like, 'Well, where I come from, you have the stupid accent.'
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I teach a Bible study for homeless guys in downtown Atlanta every week. Been doing it for years. That's the guys I'd rather go talk to. I'd rather take my act outside the church.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead
Quote by -Jeff Foxworthy