I like romanticizing romance.

There is a famous saying: 'It's hard to be a Jew.' It's also hard to be a Palestinian. I know that.

My garden will never make me famous. I'm a horticultural ignoramus. I can't tell a string-bean from a soybean, or even a girl bean from a boy bean

Were it not for frustration and humiliation I suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.

It's my own dream, I dreamt it, I dreamt that my hair was kempt, then I dremat my true love unkempt it.

You can be young only once, but you can be immature forever.

In the world of mules There are no rules.

Philo Vance / Needs a kick in the pance.

Hark to the sky of a seagull! He cries because he's not an eagle. Oh, what if you were you silly he-gull? What would you say to your she-gull?

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

How easy for those who do not bulge To not overindulge!

O, money, money, money, I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, But I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

The Bronx? No Thonx!

Professional men, they have no cares; Whatever happens, they get theirs.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up." ~Happy birthday Ogden Nash! (born 8.19.1902)

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, And who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

My fellow man I do not care for. I often ask me, What's he there for? The only answer i can find Is, Reproduction of his kind.

At least when I get on the Boston train I have a good chance of landing in the South Station And not in that part of the daily press which is reserved for victims of aviation.

Which the Chicken and Which the Egg? He drinks because she scolds, he thinks; She thinks she scolds because he drinks; And nether will admit what's true, That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.

Man is a victim of dope In the incurable form of hope!