QUOTES by Don Rickles
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I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me.
Quote by -Don Rickles
The inaugural of Ronald Reagan, with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. And that was the greatest thing. Ronald Reagan and George Bush. That was - I still remember like it was yesterday.
Quote by -Don Rickles
Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was.
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Being in the Navy, when I came home, it changed your whole life. You're 18, you go away for two and a half years, you come home - boy, you're a different person.
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In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license.
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Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good.
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I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.
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I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.
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I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.
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Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
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I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.
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I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.'
Quote by -Don Rickles
I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
Quote by -Don Rickles
The girls, like, in we'll say Hooters, have less clothing than the girls I worked with in those days. We thought it was wild when they just wore little bells and so forth. But today, in restaurants, some of the waitresses almost work in the nude, you know, to get business.
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They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.
Quote by -Don Rickles
Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.
Quote by -Don Rickles
The average person pushes an elevator button 6 or 7 minutes before realizing it's not working. I did a study on this, you know.
Quote by -Don Rickles
There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm offensive onstage.
Quote by -Don Rickles
I busted my bird for 60 years in the business, but my grandkids only know me as Mr. Potato Head.
Quote by -Don Rickles
Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I've only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan.
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Frank Sinatra. Hey, Frank, I saw you in 'The Pride and Passion,' and I want to tell you the cannon was wonderful!
Quote by -Don Rickles
Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?'
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Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.
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Girls were scared of me because I can be loud. Barbara, my wife of 51 years, is very low-key. She was my picture agent's secretary.
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Nobody ever dared with Frank, because he had such mood swings, and you never knew how he was going to react. But I could tell the minute I saw him that he was going to be in my corner.
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To this day, when I say that I went to the American Academy, people are very impressed. The reputation of the school has always been fantastic.
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I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
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I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.
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I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me.
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You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.
Quote by -Don Rickles
I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.
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An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.
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If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.
Quote by -Don Rickles