QUOTES by Jerry Seinfeld
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You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
It takes up enough of my time and interest just working on comedy. I just enjoy it and love doing it.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
Forty is when you actually begin even deserving to be on stage telling people what you think.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I do a little thing about the way people shake the sweetener packet. You know, like they're all excited. I want to get all the granules down to one end. I love all these rituals.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I have no interest in gender or race or anything like that. But everyone else is kind of, with their calculating - is this the exact right mix? I think that's - to me it's anti-comedy. It's more about PC-nonsense.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
The Internet offers opportunities that are more unique than ever before. With TV, I know I'm making 22 minutes; I know there's a commercial in the middle. With the Internet, no one knows anything. No rules.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
When I was a comic in the 1980s, I was on the road somewhere every day, and I'd get back to the hotel, and it was Carson and Letterman, and I looked forward to that all day.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I'm a big believer than a great bit is a great bit - if I go and see someone I love, like Robert Klein. I want to hear some classics and some new stuff. But a great stand-up bit takes a long time to really polish and perfect, and they're beautiful things when they're done.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
Forty to 60 I would say is your prime. That's when you know the most, you've seen the most, you understand the most, and you still have some physical energy.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
A lot of advertising has gotten worse. I think it's kind of lost its nerve, to be honest with you. I feel like the advertising of the '60s, they were nervier. You know why? Because there was less at stake.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
The Beatles created something that never trailed off. What a gift that was to their fans. If you're into the Beatles, you loved them from beginning to end.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of stand-up than ever before. I thought it would seem trite. Kind of like if you know more about magicians, you wouldn't love them.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
When you're in comedy, people always come up and say, 'Oh, it must be so hard.' It really isn't hard unless you're not good at it. If you can do it, its really kind of fun and easy.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they're going to be compared directly against other ads.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
There are very few people who really appreciate my shows. People come to the show and they pay and they enjoy it, but I don't really think most people really understand what they've seen.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That's why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, 'Bye!'
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld
A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.
Quote by -Jerry Seinfeld