QUOTES by Josh Billings
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About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
Quote by -Josh Billings
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
Quote by -Josh Billings
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.
Quote by -Josh Billings
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Quote by -Josh Billings
I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
Quote by -Josh Billings
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
Quote by -Josh Billings
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
Quote by -Josh Billings
The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.
Quote by -Josh Billings
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
Quote by -Josh Billings
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
Quote by -Josh Billings
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
Quote by -Josh Billings
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
Quote by -Josh Billings
A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
Quote by -Josh Billings
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
Quote by -Josh Billings
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
Quote by -Josh Billings
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
Quote by -Josh Billings
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
Quote by -Josh Billings
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
Quote by -Josh Billings
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
Quote by -Josh Billings
I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
Quote by -Josh Billings
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
Quote by -Josh Billings
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.
Quote by -Josh Billings
Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
Quote by -Josh Billings