There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made.

That's one good thing about wars. It takes smarter men to figure out who loses 'em than it does to start 'em.

Nothing makes a man or body of men as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it they laugh it off.

Every man gets an opportunity once in a lifetime.

I have often said in answer to inquiries as to how I got away with kidding some of our public men, that it was because I liked all of them personally, and that if there was no malice in your heart there could be none in your "Gags", and I have always said I never met a man I dident like.

I am proud of the fact there is not a human being that I have got it in for. I never met a man I didn't like.

I never met a man that I didn't like.