If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.