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You don't really see ugly people that are old, or a bit grotty and smelly, in the media. If a Martian came down, they would think we were all tall, thin, attractive and wealthy.
Jo Brand
By crying on my bed, drinking quite a lot and feeling tempted by drugs. Well, just not reading it to be perfectly honest with you. I know it's a bit of a copout.
Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.
I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
We women continue to swallow this line that it's unladylike or even proof of being a lesbian if you wear flat shoes like Doc Martens. I'm prepared to put up with that accusation, because at least my feet aren't killing me and I don't look like a bandy ostrich.
My dad's a very sensitive man, but as the archetypal rebellious teenager, I didn't realise that.
If I am totally honest, I would have to say that 'Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots of people loved it. For that reason, I find comedy fascinating. There is a huge difference between what people find funny.
A good culture in a hospital can absorb and manage a few bad nurses, but once the culture becomes bad in itself, bad nursing practice is much harder to hide.
I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation; everything is made up.
Christians have always been fodder for comedians who have tended to portray them as anoraks - slightly clammy, beatifically smiley dullards with barely a personality between them.
Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief.
I've no interest in fashion, shoes, handbags, or sweaty shopping.
I have big friends who won't go swimming because they're too embarrassed about it. I feel that's such a shame, because actually people should be encouraging fat people who are exercising to do it, not pointing and laughing.
I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.
One thing lots of Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug. This winds lots of people up, particularly because famous Christians pronounce on the life of the poor from their very lovely affluent homes filled with their very lovely families and attractive pets.
What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?
The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
Everyone in comedy thinks if you go to the U.S. you become a global star but, unfortunately, I've always been a bit anti-American - so I never did.
There are so many cliches associated with mental health - such as the 'fine line between lunacy and genius' - which are, on the whole, a load of rubbish.
Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
People can forgive each other.