When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

I adore doing comedy, I think it's fantastic. I never saw myself doing exclusively comedy.

If you’re smart, you should be able to figure out how to be happy. Otherwise, you’re not that smart.

Stupidity assumes two forms, it speaks or is silent. Mute stupidity is bearable.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them - it strengthens them to get through the day.

I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.

I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.

I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.

I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.

It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them - it strengthens them to get through the day.

Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.

I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.

The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.