"He knows only what is right in front of him; she is aware of every incoming sensation that glances obliquely against her soft, fragile core"

"A triangle with four points is what Euclid rides into hell."

"The auction houses seemed not as dull as their financial counterparts on Wall Street, where parents of daughters imagined glass celings and bottom patting."

"Thinking too much also creates the illusion of causal connections between unrelated events."

"Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening."

"I am tired, so very tired of thinking about Lacey Yeager, yet I worry that unless I write her story down, and see it bound and tidy on my bookshelf, I will be unable to ever write about anything else."

"She has simply never quite learned to walk or hold herself comfortably"

"She started converting objects of beauty into objects of value."

"The overhead lights reflect in the glass countertop and mingle in the gray and black of the gloves, resulting in a mother-of-pearl swirl that sometimes sends Mirabelle into a shallow hypnotic dream."

"An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be."

"He never complicates a desire by overthinking it, unlike Mirabelle, who spins a cocoon around an idea until it is immobile."

"...teaching is, after all, a form of show business."

"She didn't even finish her last sentence; it just trailed off. I think the subject had changed in her head while her mouth had continued on the old topic, not realizing it was out of supplies."

"Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus Be dull and boring and omnipresent Criticize things you don't know about Be oblong and have your knees removed"

"Be tasteless, rude, and offensive, Live in a swamp and be three dimensional, Put a live chicken in your underwear, Get all excited and go to a yawning festival."

"If you occasionally wonder how I know about some of the events I describe in this book, I don't. I have found that--just as in real life--imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience."

"All of life’s riddles are answered in the movies."

"A kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true.” L.A. Story (1991) – Harris Telemacher (Steve Martin)"

"So, while fitting in, she was like a wicked detail standing out against a placid background."

"I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87."

"Introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness"

"Being on Twitter is like having a fern."

"...the divided world of Aspen, where locals with a sense of entitlement were pitted against developers with a sense of condominiums."

"Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent."