Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.

Grow up and let anyone try to contend with the adult you.

I will never stop complaining.

Why go through life feeling cheated? It does nothing but make you bitter.

You don't need people to tell you how beautiful you are on there.

I love New York. I love working here.

I love fashion, I'm actually a pretty talented seamstress, so I can make stuff for myself, but that's really time-consuming.

I think reality television is such a special talent.

I love singing and that's kind of my new thing.

I really love Steve Martin and all the stuff he did in the '70s. I think it's really great.

Comedy was all I ever wanted.

It's very hard for a woman in comedy. It's hard for women to be bold and not care what anyone, particularly men, think. Maybe that is why so many women comics are lesbians.

I get up around 7 a.m. That's very early for a stand-up comic. Then I'll have breakfast with my husband, the artist Al Ridenour, take my three dogs for a walk and commence with my work.

To be a feminist is to be alive.

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.

Try to put your happiness before anyone else's, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself.

In America, I'm a foreigner because of my Korean heritage. In Asia, because I was born in America, I'm a foreigner. I'm always a foreigner.

Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore.' People don't give them enough credit for how entertaining they are.

I'm super-obsessed with 'Intervention.' I wrote a song about it.

I'm always surprised when I get recognized.

Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.

When it comes to children, my mom doesn't believe in borders. She loves all children, and that's a good example of mothering the world. I need to do that, but before I can, I need to get over my fear of kids in the first place.

I am in love with Counting Crows. It is so manly and American.