Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

Reality TV is easier to digest if it comes in small amounts.

One of the best ways to deal with the peer pressure of the 'Fear of Missing Out' is to opt-out whenever possible.