"I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30."

"Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member."

"Go, and never darken my towels again."

"Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does."

"Beneath my cold exterior, once you break the ice, you find cold water."

"That my plans have lately gone somewhat awry is the sort of risk one must take if life is to be superb."

"To a born-again atheist like myself, it is clear that each of us has multiple selves, talents, perceptions. But to the Roman Catholic, unity is all."

"Andy Warhol is the only genius I've ever known with an IQ of 60."

"The idea of a good society is something you do not need a religion and eternal punishment to buttress; you need a religion if you are terrified of death."

"We are the United States of Amnesia, we learn nothing because we remember nothing."

"Always a godfather, never a god."

"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."

"I sometimes think it is because they are so bad at expressing themselves verbally that writers take to pen and paper in the first place"

"Monotheism is easily the greatest disaster to befall the human race."

"I’m not sentimental about anything. Life flows by, and you flow with it or you don’t. Move on and move out."

"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose."

"The important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself."

"Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little."

"Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either."

"The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return."

"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn."

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note."

"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."

"How marvelous books are, crossing worlds and centuries, defeating ignorance and, finally, cruel time itself."