"One does not go to the theater to see life and nature; one goes to see the particular way in which life and nature happen to look to a cultivated, imaginative and entertaining man who happens, in turn, to be a playwright."

"All one has to do to gather a large crowd in New York is to stand on the curb a few minutes and gaze intently at the sky."

"Men go to the theatre to forget; women, to remember."

"The bachelors admired freedom is often a yoke, for the freer a man is to himself the greater slave he often is to the whims of others."

"Sex touches the heavens only when it simultaneously touches the gutter and the mud."

"An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn't want to drink with even if he did."

"There is something distinguished about even his failures; they sink not trivially, but with a certain air of majesty, like a great ship, its flags flying, full of holes."

"A ready way to lose your friend is to lend him money. Another equally ready way to lose him is to refuse to lend him money. It is six of one and a half dozen of the other."

"There is no legimate actor who can resist the powerful lure of the movies. It isn't the money that fetches him. It isn't the great publicity. It is simply this: the movies enable an actor to look at himself."

"The notion that as a man grows older his illusions leave him is not quite true. What is true is that his early illusions are supplanted by new, and to him, equally convincing illusions."

"The dramatic critic who is without prejudice is on the plane with the general who does not believe in taking human life."

"Impersonal criticism?is like an impersonal fist fight or an impersonal marriage, and as successful."

"The triumph of sugar over diabetes."

"I drink so the others become interesting."

"Like everybody else, when I don't know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds."

"The most loyal and faithful woman indulges her imagination in a hypothetical liaison whenever she dons a new street frock for the first time."

"Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve."

"Great drama is the souvenir of the adventure of a master among the pieces of his own soul."

"I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost."

"The Russian dramatist is one who, walking through a cemetery, does not see the flowers on the graves. The American dramatist . . . Does not see the graves under the flowers."

"A man admires a woman not for what she says, but what she listens to."

"Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor."

"An actor without a playwright is like a hole without a doughnut."

"Musicals are to the theater what wines are to a substantial dinner."