The truth is that tights are just so cosy.

There's no fun in relationships. OK - that's not strictly true. I will agree that the first bit can be not totally unpleasant. There's the initial meeting and the heart quickening and the stomach-churning excitement of it all.

Weddings happen once. That's the point. They're a bluster of confetti and hope all wrapped up in sticky wedding cake and four-year-old girls in big dresses with massive bows.

Forgetting stuff is just human, especially when other things are on our minds.

I couldn't tell you my wedding anniversary (although I seem to remember it was in June. Or maybe July. Definitely a month beginning with a 'J,' anyhow. But not January. Um. I think) and people I went to school with get extremely fed up with me when I bump into them in the street and have absolutely no recollection of their faces.

I have always been a little bit forgetful.

I am allergic to fancy dress. This is actual fact.

I won a robotics championship when I was 13.

I avoid envy at all costs.

Who actually enjoys skiing? Come on, even Olympic ski masters, even James Bond, think that dressing up in all that fluorescent, insulated kit and having to manoeuvre down a mountain in the freezing cold is no way to spend leisure time.

Now people who keep fish disturb me the most, if I'm totally honest. They always smell a bit like fish food and they know just a bit too much about eels.

I am box-set girl; I buy into those big American series like 'The Sopranos' and 'Heroes.'

The reason why those female celebrities are always in filthy moods is not because they're being hounded by men with massive cameras or because Ridley Scott cancelled their film. They just want to get their hands on a cheeseburger.

All my life, I have avoided any sort of exercise. I don't enjoy sweating and I think people who show off about having just done 20 press-ups are pretty weird.

On 'Richard And Judy' I dressed up as an orange for Fruit Awareness Week.

Men are, on the whole, born without any fashion sense whatsoever. I don't say this to be mean, but I'm just being honest.

My kids are the offspring of people who are doing reasonably well and live in the centre of London and the chances are they're going to turn out ghastly anyway. Who's to say they shouldn't have a walk-in wardrobe and possibly a stylist from the age of four?

I don't like ads: I'm too susceptible. I find myself in the supermarket buying Ronseal, and I don't even have a shed.

There's nothing quite as perfect as going to a dark room where you can eat fattening food next to the man you love. OK. All right. Like. The man you like.

I go to bed with as much makeup on as I can so I look cooler in my dreams.

My mum raised me in a home without mirrors. She's a staunch feminist and wanted us to know that what we look like is the least interesting thing about us.

I can't stand people who say they've got 'Africa fatigue.'

Grown-up parties are so dull they make me want to throw a tantrum and hurl red wine on the nearest cream-damask armchair.

I never go to parties. I never go to premieres. You can't play that game, because it's short-lived and you want a life.